Manufacture Your Day by OPTIMIZING BEHAVIOUR
Why do we seem to focus so much on other people’s faults?
It is true. Most people, myself included are pretty good in zooming in on other people’s faults, weaknesses and insecurities. I am sure this is a “master strategy” that helps us to feel better about ourselves and our own shortcomings.
Having said this, making people feel bad about themselves should of course never be the goal.
However, what if this is a person you truly care about?
What if you want to help and support this person to reach his/her full potential?
I suggest my “designed to improve” shock absorber approach:
- Be prepared and speak from the heart
- Be honest when you share your observations – even if he/she doesn’t like it, it will definitely make him/her think (fingers crossed)
- Help him/her to develop a higher level of commitment – do what you say, say what you do
- Support him/her in the accountability process – if there is no goal (short-term, mid-term, long-term), it’s pretty difficult to know what to aim for
- Make him/her assume responsibility for his/her actions and/or life – if you don’t make a plan, you are not in control (victim mode)
If the first shock is gone, it’s time to get out of the rut. More often than not it is good to hear what we don’t want to hear in order to get better.
That’s what caring managers, compassionate co-workers, loving partners and best friends are for.
Don’t criticize, help optimize instead.