Manufacture Your Day by KNOWING WHEN YOU’VE MADE YOUR POINT
Do you know people who keep repeating themselves over and over again? Can we sometimes be one of these people?
Let’s be aware by not reinforcing the same message over and over again.
On the flip side, please don’t shoot the messenger but if this is annoying to you, it is your problem and not the other person’s problem. The question is how you will deal with the situation? Being grumpy and acting like a little child won’t help.
First off, this can also depend on a person’s cultural background.
In high-context communication, a message cannot be understood without a great deal of background information. Often this can lead to repetition. Asian, African, Arab, central European and Latin American cultures are generally considered to be high-context cultures.
Let’s get this straight. A lot of problems and hard feelings would disappear if people would start to speak mindfully to each other instead of about each other.
Here is what I would do if a person reinforces the same points over and over again. I would push myself outside of my comfort zone and speak to the person with the clear intention to make him/her aware and help him/her to become better.
Suggested script (make it your own with your own wording):
- Ask for permission: Name, can I provide you with some feedback that I have observed in our meetings?
- Make the person aware and start with something positive: I think your ideas and contributions have a lot of value for the group and it is important that people hear what you have to say. I have noticed that I lose interest because you keep reinforcing the same points over and over again. Can you help me understand if there is a specific reason for that? Listen to what the person has to say.
- Thank the person and ask for feedback as well: Thanks for being so receptive to my feedback. If there is something that I can do better, I would appreciate your feedback as well.
Many people would rather complain instead of having a sincere and mindful conversation. They are afraid that this would turn into an emotional outbreak. It won’t if you clarify the “why” before you get into the “how”. Your tone of voice, your facial expressions and your body language have to be supportive, not demeaning.
It is not about criticizing the person. It is about helping the person to get better.
We all have things to work on – some of us talk too much and some of us not enough.
Let’s make it our goal to talk to each other. Deal?