Manufacture Your Day by HAVING A MENTAL STRATEGY FOR TOXIC PEOPLE
With all the negativity in our world, it is important to develop a mental strategy for toxic people.
Allow me to clarify first what can and will be toxic for you and for your work-environment:
- ongoing criticism
- driving the BMW (blaming, moaning and whining)
- “can’t do” attitude
- constant “victim mode” (feeling sorry for yourself)
Two questions for you:
- Do you know toxic people?
- Do you think that you are toxic at times?
Awareness is the first step. We can all be toxic but it is important that we don’t permanently “move” to toxicity. It’s not a great place to be and YOU definitely deserve better.
People often think that I am always positive. I wish this would be true.
Positivity is hard work. It is a constant checking in with myself when I get “off-track” and feel that my negative emotions are about to take over. It’s about being mindful about my feelings and starting to shift my focus whenever I start to feel bad.
There are many toxic people around us. Sometimes these people are even within our family and they are definitely in our workplaces. I like to call them energy vampires. They tend to suck the life out of you. These individuals get their energy from being egocentric and controversial, belittling others and being the smartest person in the room.
This can be very damaging for people’s self-worth. I have said it before and I say it again, the self-worth of an employee is in direct correlation the net-worth of the employer. Bummer!
Here is what’s important for you to remember when you have to interact with a toxic person:
- The situation is only 10 %, 90 % is how you respond to it – stay in your power.
- Take a deep breath to stay calm – why waste your energy?
- Ask yourself: Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?
- Be positive – how does it help you in your life if you engage in gossip?
- Be polite and smile – it will reduce your stress level.
- Ask as many questions as you can – be curious instead of furious.
- When emotions are high, intelligence is low – you can’t win with an emotional person.
- Stand up for yourself and call them on their behaviour – i.e. I am happy to continue our conversation whenever you are ready to treat me with respect (positive communication).
If people in your family are toxic, visit less often.
If your spouse is toxic, make time for good conversations. Address the problem before it is too late. It is better to talk with each other than about each other.
If people in your work environment are toxic, there is usually a reason. Make it your mission to find it. You can positively influence others by being a role model with your own attitude.
If your boss is a bully, take the initiative and find another job.
Michelle Obama used to say, “When they go low, we go high.”
Let it go, let it go, let it go. It will contribute to your happiness.
I am watching you!