Manufacture Your Day by CONTROLLING YOUR EMOTIONS
Can I tell you a secret?
The best results as a leadership coach I have achieved with my “anger management” coachees.
Why? I can totally relate to their emotional reaction. Yes, they say that you teach best what you have to learn most.
I have always been a very emotional person in respect to anger. Do you know the feeling when you can go from 0 to 100 in a split second? I have gotten a lot better since I was in my twenties, but it requires me to be mindful and aware of my emotional triggers.
Anger can be displayed in many different ways:
- Bullying behaviour
- Sarcastic comments
- Disparagement Humour
- Quiet suffering that can be observed in facial expressions and body language
- Feeling better by putting others down
- Constant crankiness
- Leave-me-alone attitude
- Push back mentality
- Looking for conflict and confrontation
Whatever it is, there are always some people who are on the receiving end – such as co-workers, team members, spouses, family, friends and unfortunately also children.
If you are someone who has anger management issues, you have to acknowledge it first before you can do anything about it.
Here is how to get started:
1. Become Aware of Your Emotional Triggers
What makes you angry? In which situations has it happened before?
- Someone says something specific to you (hot buttons that trigger something that happened in the past)?
- People don’t do what you want them to do?
- You work really hard but everything seems to work against you.
Whatever it is, you have to find out.
2. Take a deep breath and think
Viktor E. Frankl used to say, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
If you are in your emotional mind, the ego takes over. That’s why it is so important to tap into your intelligent mind to respond responsibly!
3. Use Your Freedom to Choose
Choose your thoughts, choose your attitude, choose your energy, choose your words, choose your actions. If you manage to stop yourself from reacting poorly, you can choose what feels right for you.
- Go for a short walk
- Excuse yourself for a moment to collect yourself
- Smile for 1 minute straight to reduce your stress level
- Take a few breaths – in and out, in and out, in and out (that’s what smokers do)
- Get yourself a cup of coffee or tea
- Speak to someone else to explore what they do in similar situations
As a general rule, do your best to stay calm. People will respect you for that. How does it make things better if you get upset? Staying calm is better for your health and I trust that you will find other ways to get people’s attention.
You’re such a trooper.