I would like you stop and think about this for a moment….. 

Reflection time is critical in order to allow an important thought to sink in. 

Why is it so common that we want to “fix people”? 

If you have employees or co-workers who really frustrate you and you would like nothing more than to “fix” them, it results in a lot of wasted energy. 

Would you allow me to provide a different perspective? 

Let me start by saying that it is a very unhealthy perception to have when we think that some people need to be “fixed”. They may be in the wrong job. They may be in the wrong work environment. They may work for the wrong company. They may have lost motivation due to various circumstances. They may be fearful. 

Whatever the reason is, I can tell you that people want nothing more than being accepted for who they are. 

None of us has the right to change others. We can only change ourselves, the way with deal with certain situations and how we look at things. 

Allow me to explain when we are tempted to “fix” people (also true for our personal relationships)?

  • when they are different than we are (different personality, different decision making skills, different organizational skills, different way to look at challenges, different sense of urgency, different ways of enjoying life, and the list goes on and on and on);
  • when they don’t meet our expectations – how we think the person is “supposed to be” and this doesn’t match the real life situation; 
  • when we want people to do things the way we do them (micromanagement);
  • when “different thinking” is o.k. as long as it is not different to ours (ouch); 
  • when we try to “save” others from unnecessary experiences (we think we know best);
  • when results are more important than understanding where the other person is coming from;

Next time when you are tempted to “fix” someone, think twice….

It can be emotionally, mentally and physically exhausting to be a “fixer”. Am I right? 

Respect people. Love them. Care about them. Be interested in their perspective and have good conversations with each other. 

If you are willing to flip your mental script, you will be more open to look at the work environment itself. 

Is there fear or trust?

Is bullying behaviour and verbal abuse tolerated? 

Do people speak more to each other than about each other? 

Is a mistake seen as an opportunity to learn and grow or is the “owl syndrome” (who… who… who… whose fault was it?) part of the daily agenda? 

The top of the organization always sets the tone about what the culture values and tolerates. Be aware! 

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